Tuesday, January 20, 2009 01:45:26 PM
Posted By Dann
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Barack Obama (formerly Baracké
Ubama) was today sworn in as the forty-fourth President of the United States
of America in a lavish ceremony which lasted for hours, visibly boring Obama’s
daughters, Malia and Sasha. The ceremony included a drawn out concert featuring
acts including 1995
Grammy Award winners U2, Sheryl Crow and Bruce Springsteen, as well as Beyoncé
and will.I.am. After a campaign in which ballot papers bore the name ‘Barack
Osama,’ and interview subjects on 60 Minutes declaring that ‘Barack
Hussein Obama is not an American name,’ thousands turned out to celebrate
the inauguration. Alan Freeman of North Carolina was so inspired by Barack’s
impending presidency that he sported a likeness of Mr. Obama on the back of
his skull (pictured below.) It is unclear whether the anomaly was naturally
occurring or an intentional style.
Locally, followers of Obamerama were able to view the parade and ceremony on public screens throughout the country, and special attention was given to Michelle Obama after a local cosmetics company boasted that they were providing exclusive make-up tips for the first lady during the ceremony and ensuing ball. For the Obama daughters, more exciting than the tiring day of ceremony was the repeated promise of being awarded a puppy by their parents when they move into the White House. However, the publicised search of animal shelters has been delayed by Malia’s allergies to certain breeds of dog. Hours after the parade and ceremony, doctored photographs and rumours were yet to emerge, in contrast to the string of such sensationalism surrounding Mr Obama’s political campaign. As such, LND.com can show this exclusively doctored image, showing Mr Obama and Vice-President Joe Biden walking the parade route.
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