Posted By Dann
Even though reports that the H1N1 virus, commonly known as Swine Flu, had mutated and threatened a zombie outbreak which could 'restart the heart of it's [sic] victim for up to two hours after the initial demise' have been proven false, speculation on the real-life ramifications of an outbreak of zombies remains at the forefront of serious medical discussions.

Amendments to US President Barack Obama's healthcare act were discussed in New York, with public opinion divided on what course of action should be taken in the case of zombie holocaust. Meanwhile, students at the University of Oregon describe 'walking around like a zombie' after being infected with H1N1.

Locally, dust storms which blanketed New South Wales and Queensland last month are being investigated by scientists who suspect the dust may be radioactive. This could potentially lead to the rising of the dead, as was seen in Pennsylvania in 1967 after the explosion of a NASA probe showered radioactive material upon the Earth's surface.

A pair of zombies emerge from the dust at Sydney's Luna Park (Holly Marshall / livenudedann)

Luckily mathematical research has been conducted into the most efficient ways of dealing with such an outbreak. A team of mathematicians from the University of Ottawa have written a paper detailing the effectiveness of the various ways of combating a zombie outbreak. Professor Robert Smith? said that 'it is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly, or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.'


 
Posted By Dann
Governor-General Quentin Bryce has previously been suspected of spending a lot of time Googling her own name, but this suspicion was all but confirmed with Ms. Bryce publicly performing a search while opening Google’s new Australian headquarters in Sydney.

Quentin Bryce signs Google plaque (PCWorld)

Ms. Bryce toured the new office – conveniently located across the road from Star City Casino – this week and signed a piece of Google-themed artwork to mark the opening. She later searched for references to herself via the new communications platform Wave with head of engineering, Alan Noble.

Quentin Bryce and Alan Noble search the internet (PCWorld)

Meanwhile, police in California have not identified a link between the Governor-General, the opening of Google Australia, and the death of one of Google’s early mentors, Stanford University professor Rajeev Motwani. Professor Motwani, who mentored Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin during the development of the search engine, was found dead in the swimming pool of his California home this week.


 

 

 
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